An almighty new search engine!

[The_Crusade]

www.chacha.com

It's a search engine...with a difference! You get guides to do the searching for you. Needless to say, hilarity ensues:

Status: Connected to guide: JoyM
JoyM: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hello
JoyM: Good morning!
You: I am looking for [My School]...you see...im kinda following someone and they go to that school
JoyM: Do you knnow what state?
You: its in england...yorkshire
JoyM: Thanks for coming to ChaCha! Give me a moment while I do all your searching for you!
You: thank you!
JoyM: You are welcome
You: Now I can return to my stalking
JoyM: Good luck!
JoyM: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
JoyM: You have a great day!
You: No, that's fine thanks
JoyM: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!
JoyM: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: EmmaB
EmmaB: Welcome to ChaCha!
EmmaB: Welcome to ChaCha!
EmmaB: Good morning
You: Hello
EmmaB: How are you
You: I'm wonderful, thanks
You: Yourself?
EmmaB: Great thank you
You: I've heard of this search engine called Google...I've heard it's a lot better then ChaCha...can you please locate this for me? Thanks!
EmmaB: I think ChaCah is better
EmmaB: You get to search with a live guide
You: That's a fair point. Do you get paid for this?
EmmaB: Yes
You: Where do you work? At home?
EmmaB: yes
You: Can I get a job as a ChaCha guide?
EmmaB: Are these results sufficient?
You: I asked first
EmmaB: Yes would you like the info
You: Yes please
EmmaB: Give me a moment please
You: OK please
EmmaB: Are these results sufficient?
You: Yes thanks
EmmaB: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
EmmaB: You are welcome
You: No, that's all for now
EmmaB: Have a great day
EmmaB: Thanks for searching ChaCha!
EmmaB: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!
EmmaB: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Status: Connected to guide: RichardF
RichardF: Welcome to ChaCha!
RichardF: what kind of stuff?
You: Hi
RichardF: good morning
RichardF: How are you?
RichardF: how may I better direct your inquiry
You: I'm Bananariffic my good man and yourself?
RichardF: I am great
RichardF: thank you so kindly
You: Ok, here's the shizzle, I am interested in becoming a terrorist, I have heard it's quite an interesting job. Can you find some good terrorist schools in Yorkshire, England. It would be much appreciated.
RichardF: sure I can
You: Thanks, I'm done.

I got scared after that point and left the conversation

Status: Connected to guide: ReneeH
ReneeH: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Ahoy thar
ReneeH: Hello.
ReneeH: You're looking for a cure for scurvy?
You: Arr I hope you is well...I has been stricken with the nasty scurvy on my last voyage for treasure
You: My name is Captain Pinkbeard
ReneeH: That is too bad Captain! Just a moment while I find some help for you.
You: Arr we have no lemons on this here ship *cough*
ReneeH: The last link I've sent has other ways to treat
ReneeH: Are these results sufficient or can I find more for you?
You: Arrr
You: It must be tha lack of Vitamin C
You: My crew thought it would be a good idea to not bring any food to reduce costs and whatnot
ReneeH: Yes.. you need to get some fruits and vegetables on your ship!
ReneeH: I would make them walk the plank for that.
You: We survived by eating each other's excrements, and tha didnt turn out too well
ReneeH: No, I would imagine it didn't.
ReneeH: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
You: Unfortunately we are in tha middle of tha pacific ocean
You: no vegetables for us
You: maybe I could download some
You: Can you find a webpage for downloading vegetables?
ReneeH: Let me see what I can find.
(Black Eyed Peas MP3 website appears LMAO)
ReneeH: I think the closest we're going to get are Black Eyed Pea or Korn downloads.
You: black eyes peas
You: shiver me timbers
You: i hav never heard of 'em
You: OK the captain is downloading them
ReneeH: Ok.. best of luck with that!
ReneeH: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
You: OH MY GOD!!
You: THE PEAS ARE ALIVE!
You: THEY ARE EATING MY CREW!
You: HOW CAN I STOP THEM?
ReneeH: I don't think there is any way. Sorry. I would say goodbye before they're done.
You: Arr
You: My last words
ReneeH: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!
You: Tell my wife I love 'er!
ReneeH: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended

Next I typed 'date' in the search box
Status: Connected to guide: Ashley S
Ashley S: Welcome to ChaCha!
Ashley S: Hello!
You: Hey
You: You must be my date
You: ASL?
Ashley S: What exact type of information can I find for you today?
You: I have just searched for a date
Ashley S: Are you looking for dating sites?
You: And you are here
You: Therefore you are my date
You: How old are you?
Ashley S: Yes I am. Although I don't think they allow us to date our customers.
You: Customers?
You: Are you a prostitute?
Ashley S: Infoseekers. People searching for information.

I was then reported for abuse. 

Status: Connected to guide: JenniferB
JenniferB: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Greetings
JenniferB: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: I'm on a quest to kill the mighty dragon Fenrir
You: But I seem to have got lost on the way to Wichyboo
You: I asked a goblin for directions but the miscreant has led me the wrong way
You: Could you help me find wickyboo?
You: wichyboo even
JenniferB: What video game?
You: What is a video game?
You: This is no game! The fate of the world depends on this quest
You: Is thou listening to me?
You: Don't make me smite you
You: With my mighty Battleaxe
You: Pah.
You: You people are useless
You: Screw this, I'm going home

[flamingdragon]

Umm, I had a really good one, but....

Live Guide Now is disabled because you have been involved in a possible abusive action. Our abuse alert is set at a low threshold to protect our visitors and guides.

If you feel that you have received this message in error, please e-mail us at abuse_resolution@chacha.com with a request for re-entry to our site.

We appreciate your feedback. Thank you.

Your location is: 74.60.73.49

[flamingdragon]

Searched for Bakster

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: DonnaS
DonnaS: Welcome to ChaCha!
DonnaS: hi there
DonnaS: What is it you're trying to find?
You: bakster
DonnaS: What is that?
You: wouldnt u like to know
DonnaS: um, yeah. that's why I just asked.
You: lol
You: it's a person
DonnaS: that you?
You: no
DonnaS: really?
You: it's a friend
DonnaS: I see..well, there you go.
You: hmm, any more?
DonnaS: no, that's it. bye now.
DonnaS: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended

That bastard ended my session!

[flamingdragon]

LMAO

Search: Phoenix Down

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: KarenB
KarenB: Welcome to ChaCha!
KarenB: Welcome to ChaCha!
KarenB: hello
You: who came up with that horrible name?
KarenB: How are you?
You: not good
You: My wizard just died.
KarenB: I'm sorry to hear about that
You: I know, it's terrible
KarenB: How may I assist you with your search?
You: I need some phoenix down in 5 turns or less
KarenB: Welcome to ChaCha! Please wait a moment while I search for your results.
You: be swift
You: u find any yet?
You: I only have 3 turns left to heal my wizard
You: come on, a squire could get some faster than u
You: to late, my wizard's gone
You: good job trying anyways
Status: Session ended.

[flamingdragon]

Search: moleculos


Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: JaredT
JaredT: Welcome to ChaCha!
JaredT: Hello how are you?
You: Que'?
JaredT: Excuse me?
You: Que'?
JaredT: I don't know what that means
You: Si hombre de moleculos!
You: Ay Carumba!
You: Tu eres de moleculos?
JaredT: I don't know spanish sorry.
You: Que'?
You: No s i hable espanol?
JaredT: No espanol
You: si?
JaredT: Si
You: si no moleculos?
JaredT: I don't know what that is?
You: moleculos
You: si hombre de moleculos
JaredT: I have no clue what you're saying.
You: Coma estas?
You: Tu eres moleculos!!!!!!!
You: Si compadre?
You: no se'?
You: tu estupido
You: se loco?
You: se o no se?
You: u speak da englis?
You: Thanks, I'm done.
Status: Session ended.

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: DavidF
DavidF: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Que'?
DavidF: Hello.
You: Si amigos?
DavidF: Si
You: Tu eres de moleculos?
DavidF: No habla espanol bueno
You: no se hable espanol?
DavidF: no
DavidF: Habla ingles
DavidF: hablo*
You: o, ingles!
You: Se hombre de moleculos?
DavidF: no comprende
You: no comprende moleculos?
DavidF: molecules?
You: no se, tu hombre de moleculos
DavidF: Hungry?
You: no se comida
DavidF: Que?
You: no
You: no se
DavidF: you dont know
You: tu moleculos!
DavidF: ?
DavidF: My molecules?
You: tu eres hombre tu moleculos?
DavidF: no no no
DavidF: tengo un gato en mis pantalones
You: si?
DavidF: siiii
You: un gatos o un perro?
DavidF: gatos
DavidF: meow
You: gatos tu gordos?
DavidF: gatos un poco
You: o
You: me si
You: tu en perros?
DavidF: no perros
You: que'?
DavidF: no tengo unos perros
You: si
You: Tu moleculos?
DavidF: no comprende
DavidF: que moleculos?
You: que no comprende moleculos?
DavidF: si
You: si?
DavidF: si
You: si no comprende
DavidF: no comprende
DavidF: que son moleculos?
You: no moleculos?
You: comprende hombre?
DavidF: hungry
DavidF: ?
You: no se
You: tu es hombre
DavidF: tengo hombre.....necesito comida?
You: no te comida
You: se hombre
DavidF: no comprende hombre
You: comprende no hombre?
DavidF: no
You: comprende tu?
DavidF: ssi
You: tu hombre de moleculos
You: tu hombre
DavidF: no comprende
You: moleculos es hombre
DavidF: lo siento
You: tu hombre de moleculos?
You: no se hable espanol?
DavidF: no
You: Thanks, I'm done.
Status: Session ended.

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: JohnM
JohnM: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: buenos dias!
JohnM: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: Que?
JohnM: Come estas este dia muy linda?
You: si
You: tu hombre de moleculos?
JohnM: Es todo el espanol que puedes hablar? (Shit, he can speak spanish!)
JohnM: Estoy escribiendo muy rapido?
JohnM: Que paso?
You: tu hombre de moleculos
You: tu habla espanol?
JohnM: Is that all the spanish you know?
You: lol, well it;s funnier when the other person can't speak any
JohnM: LOL.
JohnM: I figured that!
JohnM: Surprised?
You: maybe
JohnM: Ok, well is there anything I can help you search for?
You: moleculos
You: that's it
JohnM: That's funny!
JohnM: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
You: nope
JohnM: Shall I find the clip for you?
You: umm, sure
JohnM: One moment thanks.
You: thanks
JohnM: Your welcome.
JohnM: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!
JohnM: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

[Dodger]

The last one was the funniest.

[flamingdragon]

Yeah, it was pretty funny. 

[flamingdragon]

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: KathyE
KathyE: Welcome to ChaCha!
KathyE: Hello
You: Hello, Over.
KathyE: How can I help you with deat star today?
KathyE: Hope you are well today!
You: whats a deat star?, over
KathyE: That is what your searc said
You: no it isn't
You: over
KathyE: death star*
You: thats what i'm looking for
KathyE: Sorry my H key just broke.
KathyE: Ok just one minute
You: You can locate the death star that fast?
KathyE: Yes.
You: I've been searching deep space for 5 months without a trace of it
KathyE: Did you want to buy it or Know how it works, or what?
KathyE: Oh wow!
You: I want to know the coordinates
KathyE: Ok, just one moment and I will look for you.
You: I've been trained to find the death star with no luck, are u sure u can do it?
KathyE: I will sure try.
You: Rogue Squadron can't even find it
KathyE: Ok, well I may not eiter, let me know how these sites are.
You: I don't think a website can find the coordinates if a squadron of ships can't
KathyE: OK.
You: u found them?
KathyE: Let me try one more thing.
KathyE: sorry
You: You must have a very good radar, what force are u on?
KathyE: That was in spanish
KathyE: What?
KathyE: That is all I have here.
You: The rebels radar can't find the death star, i was wondering what force has a better radar than ours
KathyE: Hold on a second.
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...      LOL
Status: Guide not located.

[The_Crusade]

Status: Connected to guide: PhilipS
PhilipS: Welcome to ChaCha!
PhilipS: What would you like to know about the rock star Bono?
You: I hope you are useful unlike the last two guides
PhilipS: I will try my best.
You: I want to know the location of this fiend...two of my friends have killed themselves after listening to U2's horrible music
You: So I am out for revenge
You: find where Bono is!
You: PLEASE
PhilipS: First, I like U2. Second, I think you're kidding. You are kidding right?
You: How can you like U2?
You: Their music is horribly depressing garbage
You: So have you found Bono yet?
PhilipS: I think they're great songwriters. Bono is a great vocalist and the Edge is a gifted guitarist. Rhythm section is average...
You: That's why people suicide after listening to them ? THATS HOW GREAT THEY ARE?
PhilipS: I think he's in Japan...but the best way to track is through a tour schedule, not that I would kill him..
You: So he has spread his murderous ways to the other side of the world
You: Can you find me a current tour schedule?
PhilipS: Certainly. One moment.
PhilipS: They're playing Dec 4 in Tokyo. I'd send your hit squad there. Anything else I can do for you?
You: No, that's fine
You: But just note
You: When Bono is found dead, you will be held responsible
You: have a nice day!
PhilipS: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!
PhilipS: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

Status: Connected to guide: MarciaN
MarciaN: Welcome to ChaCha!
MarciaN: hi
You: Hi
MarciaN: what would you like to know about jail?
You: Sorry my search criteria wasnt very specific
MarciaN: that's ok, what can i find for you
You: im in a bit of a hurry
You: Ive been sentenced for life for murder
MarciaN: that's fine, i'm fast once i know what i'm looking for
MarciaN: ok
You: i need you to telll me how i can escape from this prison
MarciaN: I"m not going to be able to find anything like that
You: Why not?
You: quickly the guards are coming!
MarciaN: i don't believe it's published.
You: everything is published on the internet
MarciaN: have a good afternoon
You: NO
You: dont go
You: they are here...hold on whilst i sweet talk my way out of it
You: that was close
You: i manage to convince the guards that it was a pet
You: so found anything yet? i thought you were fast
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
Status: Guide not located.

Well that sucks.

[Dodger]

  nice Bakster.

[CrazyHazy]

Wow, bakster did something useful and funny for once. My last post here in a long time, here's something to leave you with:

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: KN
KN: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hey
KN: Hello!
You: The other guide didn't answer my question, you're a lot better :-)
KN: What can I help you search about google?
KN:
KN: Thanks!
You: Yeah, I heard theres this search engine or something
You: Google?
KN: Okay.
You: Yeah, have you heard of it?
You: Or can you help me find it?
KN: Yes, I have.
KN: Sure.
You: Sweet, thanks.
KN: Top ranked search engine.
You: Now, is google easier to use than this?
You: Oh, so that one must put you guys to shame.
KN: Yes. But only if eveyone is able to use math and boolean..
You: boolean?
You: Can you help me find results for boolean.
KN: AND
KN: OR
KN: NOT
KN: In search queries,,
KN: Sure.
You: You're the best.
KN: Thanks!
You: Are you married?
KN: Yes.
You: Would you ever cheat on her?
KN: I'm a female.
You: Perfect, I'm male.
You: Hmm, can you find me some pick-up lines?
You: Please?
KN: Is this the one you are looking for?
You: Hmm, lets see....
You: Oh here's one.
You: Did it hurt?
You: ?
KN: Haha!
KN: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
You: Are you rejecting me?
You:
You: Can you help me find ways to commit suicide?
KN: Oh please.
You: :-)
KN: I'll close this search now..
You: Bye my love.
You: 3
KN: Bye!
KN:
You:

[The_Crusade]

nice Bakster.

Thanks

Wow, bakster did something useful and funny for once.

For once? Haven't you been reading the forums for the past 3 months?

[Dodger]

Talk of the devil eh? We were just talking about him

[MetalGear822]

The third world country's of the world strike again.

[SabreWulf]

Ty, ty