Are you bad-ass? Prove it.
Very simple folks, one guy declares that he's a bad-ass and gives a reason why.
QuoteI'm so bad-ass I eat light bulbs and shit broken glass.
Then next poster gives a reason why he is more bad-ass than the previous poster, then gives another reason why he is bad-ass.
QuoteWell I'm so bad-ass I shit broken glass, and I don't even eat light bulbs.
I'm so bad-ass that I eat Chuck Norris and shit Vin Diesel. Then I pity some fools.
Any questions? Good. I'll start.
I'm so badass I can write my name in cement, when it isn't wet, with my urine, and not in cursive.
ya, well im so badass, i can make the sidewalk explode with mine
im so badass, iv counted to infinity. twice
I'm so bad ass that I ate Chuck Norris. He counted to infinity three times.
Im so badass, I'm The Guest.
well im so badass, i dont need to tell people who i am, they already know
im so badass, i fought and killed bigfoot. without touching him
Well I'm so bad ass that big foot was created when one of my hairs fell out.
I'm so bad ass that I got in a fight with God. And won.
ya, well, im so badass, i fought you and won
im so badass, i made the ice age AND huricane kitrina hit
Im so bad ass that I invented Global warming to stop the Ice age. As for Hurricane kitrina, I have no idea what that is, but I've already stopped it. :P
Im so bad ass that I can reproduce... asexually.
well im so badass, i can actually get a girl, so i dont 2 reproduce asexually
im so badass i own and drive a cement truck, or as i call it, the ct2007
I'm so badass that I excreted that cement truck.
I'm so badass that I farted and all the dinosaurs became extinct.
Quote from: The_Gu3st on February 28, 2006, 10:07:00 AM
Im so bad ass that I invented Global warming to stop the Ice age. As for Hurricane kitrina, I have no idea what that is, but I've already stopped it. :P
Im so bad ass that I can reproduce... asexually.
ahem ur the reason the hurrciane hit cause global warming is the cause of the hurricanes
Quoteahem ur the reason the hurrciane hit cause global warming is the cause of the hurricanes
You shouldn't believe everything you're told.
its proven
I'm so bad ass that I survived Baksters fart.
Im so bad ass that I eat chickens. Raw, avian bird flu chickens. With hot sauce.
im so badass i eat elephants whole with no sauce or dippings
im so badass i farted and caused that super dust cloud on jupitar
im so bad ass that i killed all of you and this thread ended.
::Sigh::
I'm so bad ass that I'm going to ignore both Gut and Ults for never reading how to play the games.
Nvm, that makes me a pussy.
I'm so bad ass I can admit Im a pussy.
I thought butterflies in the Amazon caused hurricanes ???
Quote from: Parsley on March 01, 2006, 03:01:32 PM
I thought butterflies in the Amazon caused hurricanes ???
;D
Quote from: The_Gu3st on March 01, 2006, 04:54:34 AM
::Sigh::
I'm so bad ass that I'm going to ignore both Gut and Ults for never reading how to play the games.
Nvm, that makes me a pussy.
I'm so bad ass I can admit Im a pussy.
I'm so bad ass I can admit I'm not a pussy.
I'm so badass that I live inside a volcano, drinking magma.
I'm so bad ass that I had sex with magma. ???
I'm so bad ass that I once ate my own head.
I'm so badass that I once ate my own head, excreted it and put it back on.
I'm so badass, nobody will include me in their video game because I will instantly kill everyone and win.
Im so bad ass I beat the non-existent game you are in.
I'm so bad ass that I can wear pink and be proud.
wait... i wear pink... guest screw you.
Why has everyone left these games except me and Guest? Ruins the fun.
I'm so bad ass that I can play forum games and be proud. :(
cuz no one likes you bakster, you scared them all away...
im so badass, i can bring back old forum games everyone else game up on and be proud
im so badass, the only reason the aliens arnt invading us is because i scared them off by eating there king, inignoks head
I'm so badass, I play golf with Inignok's head.
I'm so badass, I smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from my body by flexing for 30 minutes.
im so badass, i found out i had 2 tumers and got rid of them by punching them as hard as i could.
im so badass, i dont need sleep, and if i choose to sleap, to take a break from my old people, goth, and zombie killing, i sleep with my eyes open
Im so badass, I kill zombies, old people, goths while I'm sleeping.
Im so badass that I play ping-pong with the sun.
I'm so badass I play basketball with the sun.
I'm so badass that I travelled around the world just by running and swimming. I broke the world record by 2 days and 17 hours.
Quote from: Bakster on March 04, 2006, 06:16:24 PM
I'm so badass I play basketball with the sun.
I'm so badass that I travelled around the world just by running and swimming. I broke the world record by 2 days and 17 hours.
I'm so badass i warm up by swimmin and runnin laps around the world and i can do it 3 times in 2 days and 17 hours.
I'm so baddass when i do push ups it sends the earth out of its orbit and back in time 10 years
I'm so badass that while everyone goes back in time, I stay in the present.
Im so bad ass that I can type with my nose.
I'm so badass I can type, eat and kill someone only with my nose.
I'm so badass that I sunbathe on the sun.
Quote from: Bakster on March 05, 2006, 12:54:22 AM
I'm so badass I can type, eat and kill someone only with my nose.
I'm so badass that I sunbathe on the sun.
I'm so badass that I had a nap on the sun this afternoon and i abosored its energy now im the human torch
Im so badass i can swim in the ocean with a gash in my stomach bleeding my guts out and sharks are still afraid to challenge me
I'm so bad ass that I ate an entire great white shark once. Whole, while it was swimming in the water.
Im so bad ass that I can regrow my body parts.
I'm so badass I will never need to regrow body parts as they are invincible.
I'm so badass that I eat my own shit.
I'm so bad ass I don't shit.
I'm so bad ass I can suck my own... toes.
I'm so badass I have no toes (Don't ask me how that works :P)
I'm so badass I won the world golf championship using only my mouth.
Quote from: Bakster on March 05, 2006, 01:26:16 AM
I'm so badass I have no toes (Don't ask me how that works :P)
I'm so badass I won the world golf championship using only my mouth.
I'm so badass i can hit the ball in any direction and still own everyone at the championship with miraculous holes in ones
I'm so bad ass at the olympics they just had me medals so i dont show them up in every event
im so bad ass that i beat all your high scores so there slayer medals
im so badass that i dont make up things to make me look cool
Quote from: the_slayer on March 05, 2006, 03:10:19 AM
im so bad ass that i beat all your high scores so there slayer medals
im so badass that i dont make up things to make me look cool
i'm so badass i dont need to look cool bcuz your fumbling ways do it for me
i'm so badass when i walk thru a garden i make onions cry
Im so bad ass I made God cry.
I'm so badass that I can make cooler signatures than you :P
I'm so badass I don't need a signature for people to recognize my badass-ness.
I'm so badass I destroyed an entire army simply by extending my finger and shouting 'BANG!'
I'm so badass I looked at an army and they turned into waxpaper.
I'm so badass that I eat mulch. Cuz its tasty.
im so badass, i eat wood cuz its tasty
im so badass, i know most of my abcs
I'm so badass that I love toothpaste. With abc's ???
Mmm... toothpaste.
/dead topic.
[revive topic] im so badass, i eat toothpast through my nose.[/revive topic] [/topic]
*bump*
im so badass i can eat toothpaste thru my eye
im so badass even my pillow cries itself to sleep
I'm so badass I killed my pillow even though it never lived.
I'm so badass I said 'Your mom was badass last night'.
I'm so badass I stopped Hafer's egg from hatching with my mind.
im so badass, that im gonna make it hatch with my mind (just give me a few hours or so)
im so badass, i made every girl in new orleans wet. before the huricane ;)
I'm so badass I made every girl in the world wet.
I'm so badass I killed all the anime characters even though they aren't actually alive.
im so badass, i killed hitler. yesterday.
im so badass, i added 3 hours to the day, for no reason at all
I'm so badass that the day doesn't arrive til I feel like waking up. And there is no night until I feel like sleeping.
I'm so badass I swam covered in blood in a shark pool.
im so badass, i eat sharks dipped in blood.
im so badass, i can name my kickass bird wiggles, and be proud
I'm so badass I can ridicule the name Wiggles and the whole world will join me.
I'm so badass I can punch you through my computer screen...beware!
I'm so badass I don't have a computer screen. I just know what I'm doing on the computer using my mind.
I'm so badass that I skipped to school today, in a pink tutu, and no one could call me panzy or anything, because that takes balls which they don't have.
I'm so badass I skipped to school in a pink tutu, then threw a glass of urine into a teacher's face before throwing all the text books out of the window. And no one could call me panzy or do anything about it, because that takes balls which they don't have.
I'm so badass that you are trembling in your seat after reading this. And I mean YOU!
I'm so badass that I make you tremble in your sleep.
I'm so badass that when I pee in a pool, everyone gets out.
That's not badass....anyone would get out of a pool if someone peed in it.
I'm so badass when I jump in the pool, everyone dies.
I'm so badass that a mere breath from me could kill someone.
None of you are as badass as David Hasselhoff!
He's so badass that...
...he is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
...when he drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny.
...when he was born, the nurse said, "Holy Cow! That's David Hasselhoff!" Then she had s3x with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
...when he goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
...when he jumps into water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets David.
...he has two speeds: walk and kill.
...he is the reason why Wally is hiding.
...when he does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
...he can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
...he played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
...he invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
...coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
...he haunts Freddy Krueger's nightmares.
...he solved the eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" by punching them both in the face.
http://www.office-humour.co.uk
Chuck Norris is even more badass...
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When a director once said he couldn't, he replied, "Of course I can, I'm Chuck Norris," and roundhouse kicked him in the face.
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.
When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn't work, he plays zombie.
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world's hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.
God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.
When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
A duck's quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.
Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Kasparov in the side of the face.
Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.
Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
When Chuck Norris' wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said, "don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Chuck Norris doesn't need to swallow when eating food.
If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.
Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.
Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
Chuck Norris invented water.
Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn't find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, "always leave things the way you found em!"
One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.
In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks.
im so badass, i can post a link proving Bond, Lundgren, Schwarzenegger, and Ford ALL have more kills then ur precious chuck noris...
http://www.scms.ca/
im so badass, once i taped over a baseball game without the express written consent of major league baseball
im so bad ass when i go to take a crap every1 hides in hurricance bunkers
im so badass that i can fly without moving
I'm so badass I can kill anyone without moving.
I'm so badass I kicked the Tower of Pisa....and look what happened.
im so badass i blew up the tower of pisa with a fart
im so badass i fart fire
im so badass, i pee gasoline
im so badass, i dont hear the ocean in a sea shell. i hear mozarts concerto for piano #2 in B flat major instead.
I'm so badass, I don't hear the ocean in a sea shell. I hear Master of Puppets by Metallica. Classical music isn't for badasses.
I'm so badass that whenever I go skateboarding I cause earthquakes after jumping off tall places.
im so badass, i use my snowboard as a skateboard, and did i 1080 when jumping over a kitten
im so badass, i stole Christmas and blamed it on the grinch
I'm so badass I changed Christmas into Praise Bakster Season...and nobody dared to disagree.
I'm so badass the people on TV have to bow to me every 5 minutes during whatever show they are on.
im so bad ass i control god
im so badass nothing can hurt me
I'm so badass that I blew you up
I'm so badass that I eat glass ice cream.
im so badass, i drink glass soup
most people dont know this but the bible actualy ends with me showing up at the crucifixion with a pair of uzis and kicking some roman ass. i was all like, "jesus, i totally saved you" then, off on the horizon, a bunch of romans show up riding dinosaurs led by mecha pontious pilate. jesus busts out this sweet ninja sword and says, "now its my turn to save you" then jesus and me run towards the romans in slow motion. thats how the bible ends. its a cliff-hanger. i cant wait for the sequel, "the bible 2: water...into blood"
thats how badass i am
I'm so badass I convinced Jesus to become an atheist.
I'm so badass that I killed Jack Bauer.
im so badass, i killed chuck noris
im so badass, i wrote the pilot episode for the weather channel
I'm so badass, I killed everyone.
I'm so badass, I killed everyone.
I'm so badass that i revived everyone, and kill them again.
I'm so badass that i am my own god now since i killed everyone for the second time.
im so badass, i can be more creative then "i killed this loser, wow im so cool"
im so badass, it is impossible to share a birthday with me. this is because my birthday is on the 36th of hafuary, a day i invented solely for my birthday and only my birthday to avoid people having to divide their birthday present budget for people born on the same day as me.
I'm so badass, I don't need a birthday to make people spend ridiculous amounts of money on me.
Santa Claus did exist once. One day, he fell through my chimney. And I didn't like that.
I'm so badass that I didnt kill this thread for the second time.
I'm so badass that when I snore, the whole world shakes.
im so badass when i snore i cause earthquakes and volcano eruptions
im so badass i sit on the tv and crush the couch
I'm so badass...I don't do that :o
I'm so badass that I have eaten nothing but metal and glass since my birth.
im so badass i ate molten lava since birth
im so badass i control god
I'm so badass I control the controller of God.
I'm so badass the building crew hired me to demolish old castles and forts...with my head.
I'm so badass that i can destroy planets. I just point my one-eyed monster to the planet, then I shoot at it.
I'm so badass, when I bench weights I dont push the weights up. I push the whole world down
I'm so badass, I don't move, the whole universe moves for me instead.
I'm so badass, I don't eat normal food, I eat my own excretements. And enjoy it.
im so badass i can eat the whole coca cola factory
im so badass no 1 con control or command me
I'm so badass, I can control you.
I'm so badass, I don't pay prostitues. They pay me.
I'm so badass that you have to pay me.
I'm so badass that im gonna make a game where a badass coke can goes and kills a whole bunch of pepsi cans.
thats really bad ass but make it A and W root beer cans killing bargs root beer cans
now.. why would i want to do that?
beccuz a and w root beer is the shiznits
im so badass i can make diet coke and coke can fight to the death
thats not badass thats just lame