Author Topic: Why I think FlamingDragon is gay. (AKA My lovely new Wii.)  (Read 25244 times)

Dodger

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Why I think FlamingDragon is gay. (AKA My lovely new Wii.)
« on: December 17, 2006, 09:28:32 PM »
I have nothing to do for the rest of the evening, so sit back and enjoy the chronicles of Dodger.

Firstly, my top 10 reasons of why my Wii is the best console in the world.

1. It's mine.
2. No-one else has one.
3. It's shiny and white.
4. It has an exact Mii replica of me on it.
5. It's got my sweet projector to use.
6. It looks awesome.
7. It works awesomely.
8. It has the most awesome game in existence.
9. It's played by the most awesome gamer in existence.
10.  It's not made by Microsoft.

And that's that.

So, from the beginning....

Our story begins with our hero, who adequately and heroicly we shall name Dodger,  waking up one morning after a fitful night plagued with bad dreams. He has had a recurring dream for about a month...*trigger evil organ music - dum dum dududum dummm* *Screen fades to cutscene*. Picture rolling hills, a slowly flowing eloquent river, a scene of happiness and serenity. *FLASH* Dark clouds billow overhead, plunging the world into foreboding twilight. *FLASH* A dark horseman appears on the hill, cape billowing. *FLASH* Gone. Was he ever there? *FLASH* He's back. Closer. Within metres of our hero.
Dodger stumbles backward in surprise and falls. He rolls, he's back up. Where is the horseman?
Dodger draws his sword.
*Evil Laughter*
Mwahahahahah
Dodger turns on the spot. And is thrown backwards by some invisible force that bears him to the ground, suffocating him. The world fades to black....
*End cutscene*
Our hero climbs out of bed with a flourish. He has remembered what day it is. The day he has been awaiting since a two years previously, the day he gets to travel to Hyrule Castle...Cough...I mean, the release date of the Wii.

To be continued...

flamingdragon

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Re: Why I think FlamingDragon is gay. (AKA My lovely new Wii.)
« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2006, 10:08:30 PM »
1. What does this have to do w/ me being gay?
2. Nice Story  ;)
3. Ok, u thought it was going to be really good, but how good is it?
Adun Toridas, Executor.


The_Crusade

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Re: Why I think FlamingDragon is gay. (AKA My lovely new Wii.)
« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2006, 10:12:20 PM »

flamingdragon

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Re: Why I think FlamingDragon is gay. (AKA My lovely new Wii.)
« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2006, 10:14:24 PM »
I knew u shoulda posted this in tourny section.   :-\

And #9 on ur list is incorrect as I am the best gamer in existence.  ::)
Adun Toridas, Executor.


The_Crusade

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Re: Why I think FlamingDragon is gay. (AKA My lovely new Wii.)
« Reply #4 on: December 17, 2006, 10:17:07 PM »

Dodger

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Re: Why I think FlamingDragon is gay. (AKA My lovely new Wii.)
« Reply #5 on: December 17, 2006, 10:20:01 PM »
Moving on. To mixed dialogue. So, I arrived at Game at 8:45, expecting a queue to the door (opening at 9:00).
Mistaken I was. Game had been open 45 minutes for this holiest of days. Slightly gutted, but letting nothing quell my pent up excitement, I made for the doors, which I was pleased to note, opened automatically for me because my Triforce was resonating so greatly.
The store was pretty much empty, one or two hangers on, their existence shadowed  to me.
I beelined to the desk.
"One Wii please, with all the trimmings." I asked.
Then followed an awkward moment while they looked up my name in the pre-order book.
"No name" They said harmoniously.
How could this be happening? Why now? Why here?
"Look again, I pre-ordered long ago." I said, grinding my teeth.
"Ohhh, long ago." They re-iterated blandly.
It was at this point I flipped out, unleashed Dinn's Fire, and proceeded to destroy the store looking for my Wii.
After about 5 minutes a small cry came up from behind the counter. "Found it!"

The name had been there all along, but the pre-order had been taken before the pre-order book had been invented.

The nerdy man flourished my name, engraved on the stone, happily. His happiness was shared by myself and I showed this by ending his meagre existence painlessly, I continued to prise my console from his cold dead fingers, and with a cry of triumph raised it above my head in traditional pose. A chord struck up. *Dum dum dadum!*

It was then that it happened. The store began to shake. It appeared that my lovely Wii had been the only thing keeping the store immune to the ravishes of time. And time had been waiting patiently for it's time to strike, and that time was now, and it wasn't going to hold back.
The stones in the walls cracked and moss grew upon them, the floor beneath me was beginning to crumble. I hoisted my console and ran.

When I was a safe distance from the store, I turned and looked back. The roof had caved in, and the walls were in pieces. Already trees were sprouting in the middle of the shop.
Time had claimed another victim.

I dusted my hands off and set off on the long walk home. Without my trusty steed, it would take me a long time....

flamingdragon

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Re: Why I think FlamingDragon is gay. (AKA My lovely new Wii.)
« Reply #6 on: December 17, 2006, 10:25:17 PM »
How long, the suspense is killing me!!!!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!
Adun Toridas, Executor.


The_Crusade

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Re: Why I think FlamingDragon is gay. (AKA My lovely new Wii.)
« Reply #7 on: December 17, 2006, 10:27:44 PM »
That should probably have made me laugh, but I didn't.


flamingdragon

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Re: Why I think FlamingDragon is gay. (AKA My lovely new Wii.)
« Reply #8 on: December 17, 2006, 10:28:46 PM »
Adun Toridas, Executor.


The_Crusade

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Re: Why I think FlamingDragon is gay. (AKA My lovely new Wii.)
« Reply #9 on: December 17, 2006, 10:30:15 PM »
*Loud blast*


flamingdragon

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Re: Why I think FlamingDragon is gay. (AKA My lovely new Wii.)
« Reply #10 on: December 19, 2006, 03:11:37 AM »
I am patiently awaiting the next edition of the epic chronicles of Dodger's wii.
Adun Toridas, Executor.


Dodger

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Re: Why I think FlamingDragon is gay. (AKA My lovely new Wii.)
« Reply #11 on: December 19, 2006, 11:11:18 AM »
Maybe I'll write it tonight....Maybe.

The_Crusade

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Re: Why I think FlamingDragon is gay. (AKA My lovely new Wii.)
« Reply #12 on: December 19, 2006, 01:39:08 PM »
Are you really that sure?

flamingdragon

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Re: Why I think FlamingDragon is gay. (AKA My lovely new Wii.)
« Reply #13 on: December 20, 2006, 12:17:27 AM »
Apparently not since it is past midnight for u 2 losers.  :P
Adun Toridas, Executor.


Dodger

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Re: Why I think FlamingDragon is gay. (AKA My lovely new Wii.)
« Reply #14 on: December 22, 2006, 12:19:58 PM »
OMFG I'm actually surfing Duelboard on my beautiful Wii! No wai! :)